The-Just-Started-Working Tales

I think many of you would be able to relate to this particular post from the title itself. First of all, apologies for the radio silence. My dog got bitten and operated, I re-watched all of Friends (queries for all the seasons shall be entertained), went cuckoo over Game of Thrones, and spent a couple of days in literary bliss reading The Silkworm (J.K Rowling's newest). So you see, I've been pretty busy.

Back to the topic then. So I'm even busier now, as you can see, having just started my job. Just kidding, this is one of the rare free moments and I felt the yen for writing coming on. Starting work is definitely liberating in several dimensions, like you earn your own money and a few lucky ones like me get to save almost all of it, living at home. But you get pissed and pissed on nice and proper too.

First and foremost, the parentals. Especially if you have a job with no ending time. With weekends working, which is often the case here. Where the initiation party involves a farmhouse, lots of alcohol and a pool. Does not bode too well for the caretakers. Your mother starts missing you like you've gone away on holiday. And don't even get me started on driving back late at night, or in the rain. Everything from sending the driver to self pick up will be suggested. (They love me too much, so not complaining :P)

And then, there are the people you deal with on a daily basis. I'm not talking about my colleagues, who are really awesome (wink, to those who end up reading this). I'm talking of those horrific mental cases who feel that just because they give your company money for a service, they own YOU. If I had a rupee for everytime I've felt like kicking said idiot's ass, I'd be a very very rich woman.

So you see, there's a fact you should know about me. I really am not very good at the multitasking thing. So I end up ignoring a lot of people, simply because my job involves being in people's faces all day long, and I'd probably scream like a lunatic if I have to look at my phone once more. (Sorry, guys).

One of the worst and best parts of being in a Sales role is visiting any mall/shop/kiosk thereafter, and knowing exactly what tactic that salesperson would use to hook you. You end up grinning in a resigned, and rather superior manner. Horrifyingly, that's probably what most people think when they meet us. You also develop a kinship with the Vodafone and Airtel sales people, but mostly to criticise their cold-calling skills. Really, could they BE any more disinterested? Also, you end up knowing the bank holidays better than your own calender, develop a mastery at making cheques and lately, swiping cards. :P

But most importantly, you develop a thick skin. Which has been a perk for me. I'm known to break into tears at the drop of a hat, and I've really caught myself crying less. Though my chocolate consumption has gone up, because for me dorky client= stuffing my face with a huge piece of cake. (Self-serving logic)

Do comment below with your just-started-work experiences!

Ciao!

Am I enough?

For the past couple of months, whenever I remembered I had promised myself I'd be regular at writing something or the other on this blog, I'd sit to pen down something. Sometimes, the words would flow, but the flow was a little too personal for me to share. Ironic, isn't it, having a blog, yet being reticent to share?

Going back to the title of this post. Am I enough? It's one of those existential questions that plagues each one of us at some point or the other. I'll be honest. I think about this precisely once a week, when some stone ripples the calm surface of things.

I grew up with big dreams. And I was always encouraged to take them forward. Somewhere along the line, I retained an overall passion for those bigger things, but lost that intense fire that had fuelled my ambitions. I began having new dreams. New fires that are still burning bright.

Every now and then, I think back and reflect whether I was too hasty in giving those dreams up. What did I get scared off? People do those big things in much harder circumstances.

And that's when I got it. It's all got to do with what those "people" are doing. I remember, in college during placements, people would Oooh and Aah over those who got the cushy consultancy jobs, the huge packages. I was a part of the crowd that Ooh'd and Aah'd. But isn't it high time we give ourselves a break and figure out what's the best path for us? Just because "people" can do it, doesn't necessarily mean you can, or even should have to.

Most days, I'm happy. I have a great job, colleagues who are more like friends and an awesome-sauce work atmosphere. But every now  and then I get to know what X or Y is doing. Working and running an internet business. Or organizing marathons. Or taking dance classes. And I struggle. To find that one thing I do so well, that I can turn it into a business. Do something EXTRA. I very simply forget what I as a person am capable of, and start using others' achievements as my own yardstick. Very simply, I suck at multitasking and would probably end up botching the one or both things completely. Why is this fact about myself so hard to accept at times?

And this is something that I alone don't go through. There are people everywhere, who are unhappy in their jobs, who compromise because it's a "short-term" thing. People who keep giving these half-brained competitive exams (the necessary-evils is what I call them) just to get into the school of "people's choice". Look for the ultimate goal in life. Look for something that makes you happy. Something that evokes passion and emotion and screams of delight and failure alike.

I wake up everyday, looking to find something that I'd be that crazy about. Something that I'd want to live, breathe, eat and sleep. Because that's the only thing that makes me happy. That kind of unbridled passion. Everything else, is interim. Am I enough? I am.